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Slut Bomb
Slut Bomb is an episode of Dick Figures that involves Red and Stacy having a very destructive kind of sex that annoys Blue and Jason downstairs playing video games. Plot Blue tells Red and Stacy to be quiet upstairs while he and Jason play video games downstairs but they don't do so. They have sex that's so powerful that it destroys stuff around them that attracts Jason, Lord Tourettes, and The Raccoon into it so they can join. This only makes it more and more powerful until Broseph joins which destroys their sex because nobody wants to have sex with a douchebag like him. Then Red and Stacy do it again in the end. Characters Red Stacy Blue Jason Lord Tourettes Broseph The Raccoon Mr. Dingleberry (Cameo) Fat Ugly Girl Transcript (Red and Stacy are tongue kissing in Red's Bed and Blue comes in) Blue: Alright Red, you and Stacy are going to need to stop this right now. Jason is going to be coming over to play video games with me and we can't have you up here making all this noise. Red: Oh this isn't just noise we're making, this is also love. Stacy: Yeah we're making love! Blue: Yeah and you're also making me annoyed. So can you at least just keep this down so he won't have to hear you guys up there? Red: Okay Blue! We'll be as loud and obnoxious as we can up here. Blue: No Red! The opposite! Red: Got it! Not the opposite! Blue: No! I can't have you interrupt me and Jason downstairs! Red: Right! We must interrupt your date with Jason! Blue: Date? Wait what the hell? Red! RED RED WAIT STOP! (Red closes the door on Blue) Red: Now, where were we? Stacy: I think the real where question you should be asking is where do you want it? (Red turns off the lights and there are candles lighting up the room) Red: That reminds me of a new kind of sex I learned on the internet. Stacy: Ooh! A new kind of sex? This ought to be interesting. Where'd you learn it from? Red: Oh just some scary creepy unsuiting deadly-looking website that had some fatal warning under it saying DO NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE ATTEMPT EVER IT MAY CAUSE THE APOCALYPSE. So I'm sure it's safe and there's nothing wrong with it. Stacy: Well what are We waiting for? Let's do it! Red: Okay! (It shows downstairs and there's a knock at the door. Blue opens up and it's Jason) Jason: Sup. Blue: Hey Jason, come on in. Jason: Where's Red? Blue: Uuh, he's ... not here right now. Jason: Oh I see. Let's get to playing Modern Flame War 2 shall we? Blue: Yeah let's do it. (They start up the game) Jason: I'm so kicking your ass at this! Blue: Yeah right! Jason: Hey, I did it before I can do it again! Blue: I dare you to. Jason: Challenge Accepted! (Rumbling happens) Jason: What's that noise? Blue: Oh No. Jason: What Oh No? (The door to Red's room starts having glowing come out of the cracks) Jason: Hey what's going on over there? Blue: (Angered) Will you excuse me just a sec? (Blue opens Red's door) Blue: RED I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO! (stops yelling and sounds more shocked) Holy Fuck. (Light is shining brightly on Blue's face) Red: (Offscreen) Ha! Literally! Jason: What's all this glowing coming from up here? (Light shines on Jason) Jason: Mother of God. Blue: Yeah I know it's completely-(gets cut off by Jason) Jason: BEAUTIFUL!!! Blue: Oh come on really? That's fucking disgusting! Stacy: (Offscreen) Ha! Literally! Jason: Can I join? Red: (Offscreen) Sure the more the merrier. Jason: YAAAAAAY! (Runs and jumps offscreen) Blue: OH COME ON! Jason: Ha! Literally! Blue: What? How is that- (Sound of liquid getting squeezed out happens offscreen) Blue: Okay nevermind I shouldn't have asked. (Lord Tourettes busts through the door) Lord Tourettes: Hey everyone what the FUCK '''is going on in this '''SHIT? I'm hearing the sweet beautiful sounds of FUCKING going on in here, now where the''' SEMEN GARGALING PUBE MONKEYS are they '''CUMMING '''from? Blue: Lord Tourettes? Hey! Get out of here! Lord Tourettes: OH! WOW NOW I SEE! How '''FUCKING beautiful is that SHIT? (Looking at the sex that's offscreen) Stacy: Come join the fun! (Offscreen) Lord Tourettes: SURE! SOUNDS LIKE A SHITLOAD '''of fun! (Lord Tourettes jumps offscreen and the light gets brighter and starts flying) Blue: WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!?!?!? Lord Tourettes: (Offscreen) Ha Ha! literally! Blue: Red How are you making yourselves float in the air doing this? Red: (Offscreen) This is the power of the sex bang! Blue: Sex bang? Red: (Offscreen) Yeah that's the name of the sex i'm having right now. It says that if 6 people join it will cause an apocolyptic explosion that will destroy the planet. That's why it's called sex bang! Jason: (Offscreen) I see what you did there! Stacy: (Offscreen) You mean all three of us? Jason: (Offscreen) I see what you did there! Blue: Okay one more sex pun and i'm going to throw up. (Raccoon jumps up onscreen) Raccoon: OOOH! I'm going to love this! Blue: Okay, all you people GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND STOP JOINING THEM!!! Raccoon: I can go all night. I'm nocturnal. (Raccoon jumps offscreen and the roof rips off the apartment) Blue: OH NO! (It shows buildings being destroyed all around the city and the skies turn red, there are storms and lightning happening all around the place It shows people screaming and running and there are volcanos forming and erupting and waves coming and crashing down) Blue: YOU GUYS STOP IT YOU'RE CAUSING THE APOCALYPSE!!! (Mr. Dinkleberry is in his room watching horse race tapes on an old black and TV and he sees the destruction going on outside) Mr. Dinkleberry: Oh no that's not good! Better get running if I wanna survive! (Mr. Dinkleberry get's up and starts moving really slowly) Mr. Dinkleberry: I haven't run this fast in years! (Back to the apartment with Blue) Blue: Oh no this is terrible! Just one more person and it's all done for! What am i gunna do? (Broseph comes in) Broseph: I'm going to join in on that shit right there! Blue: Oh no you don't! (Blue stops Broseph and holds him down so he does'nt join in) Broseph: HEY LET ME JOIN IN! Blue: NO! YOUR'E GOING TO END THE WORLD!!! (Blue holds Broseph down and then it shows Broseph behind him climbing up the dresser) Broseph: Hey Blue? Why not just do her right there? Blue: Huh? (Blue looks and finds out that he's holding down the fat ugly girl) Blue: AAAH!!! (Blue backs off of her) Broseph how did you? Broseph: GUESS WHOS JOINING IN!!! Blue: NOOOOOOO!!! (When Broseph joins instead of an explosion the destruction all stops and goes back to normal, it shows everyone fall to the groud and the sex bang is over everyone is alive) Blue: What the hell happened? Was'nt the world supposed to explode? Red: Yeah it might have, if a total douchebag like him did'nt join! Blue: Huh? Stacy: Everyone knows that nobody want's to have sex with a total douche and when you do, it totally ruins your sex for you. So the apocolypse is going to be pushed forward some time all because of him. Broseph: YEAH! Lord Tourettes: That just '''FUCKING '''sucks '''DICK!!! Raccoon: So I guess now that that's all over we can all go home now. Jason: Yep let's go. (Everyone except Blue, Red, The Fat Ugly Girl and Stacy leaves) Red: (To the fat ugly girl) That also means you. Now go home. (The fat ugly girl sadly walks away with sad music playing) Blue: Well at least it's all over and we never have to woory about it happening again. Red: AGAIN! HEY THAT'S A GREAT IDEA LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!! Blue: WAIT RED NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (Red and Stacy jump toard each other and blue goes after them. the episode ends) Running gags There are a lot of sex puns in the episode which usually have "Literally" come after them. Red told the Fat Ugly Girl to go home. The episode vuts off Red and Stacy touching and starting sex bang again. The "I" in "Dick" is in the shape of a red penis and the "I" in "Figures" is in the shape of a purple vagina.Category:Episodes